I Know Everything About Film, I’ve Seen Over 240 of Them.

So. I’ve seen a few of the big cinematic releases recently; Wonder Woman, Transformers: the Last Knight, and Baby Driver.

I’ve previously shared my initial thoughts/ reactions on Twitter but it’s hard to convey how I really feel about them in 140 characters, and I’m not one of those insufferable people that clogs up the timelines of others by replying to their own tweet (you know who you are) so I thought’d I’d do a little post on here, as this tends to be my cinematic soapbox.

Well. Let’s start with Wonder Woman. As with the previous instalments of the DC movie universe, I really wanted to like this film. I mean, what kind of an idiot pays to see a film that they want to dislike?! Man of Steel has grown on me. Batman v Superman, well, I’ve given it three chances (saw opening day at cinema and since bought the extended edition on bluray) but I can’t find it in me to like that film no matter how much I try. Suicide Squad, lets call it what it is, fucking tripe. Now Wonder Woman. Like most of my school reports said, “so much potential. I expect better.” People lauded this film. “One of the best superhero films.” They must have watched a different film to me because what I saw was unoriginal and ugly. I won’t go into spoiler territory,  but I’d say 65-70% of this film was bog standard. There were moments of greatness and, dare I say it, wonder, but as a whole the film disappointed me greatly. It was great seeing Wonder Woman on the big screen and great for Patty Jenkins, an accomplished director, to make such a successful film, but I don’t understand the whole female empowerment angle (apart from the fact that she’s a woman.) What I mean is, she is a demi-god that does what she wants, dresses how she wants, and kicks ass doing it. That’s great, but for all of the innuendo between her and Steve Trevor, I failed to see the difference between their relationship and that between Bryce Dallas Howard & Chris Pratt in Jurassic World, a film which has been slated for being sexist. Yes, Bryce Dallas Howard’s character was wearing high heels and business attire, but that was for her bloody job! “Shit, there are dinosaurs trying to eat my nephews! Just let me run to my office and change my shoes though, these are going to be a nightmare to run in.” Sorry, I’m digressing, but the double standards between the two films was really getting my goat up.

Right, on to Transformers: the Last Knight. To be honest, the less I say about this, the better. I saw this out of curiosity in the hope that they may make an entertaining Transformers film, but it turned out to be the worst of the lot. Yup, even worse than racist robots and giant decepticles. This film is absolute fucking nonsense. How they managed to get Sir Anthony Hopkins, I’ll never know, but even he was shite and the batshit member of ancient English aristocracy. And what the fuck was Stanley Tucci doing coming back as Merlin, playing it like Sir Ben Kingsley’s Trevor Slattery in Iron Man Three?! Completely devoid of any cohesive narrative or continuity, and after they ruined my favourite Transformer Jetfire in Revenge of the Fallen, they go and fuck up my second favourite, Hotrod, in this! I laughed a lot watching this, but only because of how utterly abysmal it is. The more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to change my one star review on Letterboxd, to zero stars.

Now, today’s film; Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver. When it comes to sound and visual editing, this film is nothing short of a masterpiece. Remember when you saw the Suicide Squad trailer and they matched up 3 gunshots to Bohemian Rhapsody, well think that, but most of a brilliant film so in sync with it’s stunning soundtrack that they become one entity. From background posters to throwaway blink and you’ll miss mannerisms, the visuals and soundtrack merge into one stunning piece of cinema at times. Yes, it suffers a little in the middle, but it’s basically allowing you to take a breath before you’re thrown back into the music and mayhem. I wouldn’t say any of the performances are groundbreaking, they don’t need to be, and a few elements of the characters and story felt a little ill thought, but you’d be hard pressed to see a more entertaining film at the moment.

Bring on War for the Planet of the Apes and Spider-Man Homecoming!

(Amontage video by the awesome Amon Warmann)

 

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